Why Slylock Doesn’t Get to Read the Paper Very Often.

Eh! Sly!

“I’m reading, Max.”

Jes wanted ta go ovah some ideas I had. About updatin our image, you know?

How’m I gonna handle this one?

“I hope I don’t have to find out.”

Ok, see right dere is da perfect example of what I’m talkin’ bout. Dis is our present image, where I come up an do somethin’ stupid, and it annoys you, cause yer all smart.

“You want me to stop being smart?”

I’m jes sayin! It’s old hat, Sly! We need to stay fresh and with it and in and up and hip!

“Huh. Do we. Which of those means I get to read my newspaper?”

Ok, so, I gots three bran-spankin’ new ideas fer how we’s can take dis whole setup. The first goes like dis: instead of bein’ cops, we’re time travelers!

“Time travelers.”

Yeah, so maybe we brought dis paper frum The Future to help us figure somethin’ what needs changing in the present, to keep the future’s present from collapsing and turning into the present future’s past!

“You never took a logic course, did you?”

A what? Ok, so maybe you dun like dat one. I gottanother! We’re cops, but at home we live together and get into wacky hyjinks and make wisecracks for da studio audience! An, every season the fans choose a villain to seduce you, and the loser villains get voted off!

“See, Max, usually when people try to combine two genres, they would rather combine the good features of them. The good ones!”

Whatta ya mean? It’d be great! You could have wacky theme music! We could have canned applause! We can have our theme song sung my some guy named Neville!

“You’re manageing to be less interesting than the classified ads. I’m seriously impressed.”

Then yer gonna love the last idea I had!

“Be still my heart.”

In dis one, you’re readin’ the paper before work! I pop up behind ya and I say somethin’ dumb an’ funny, an we have a good laugh on the way inta da precint!

“Max, that’s what we’re doing! Your last idea is exactly the same as what was really happening in the first place!” I toss the paper at the trash, miss, and head for the door.

I almost don’t catch him mutter ‘Cept in my version you listen to me once in a while.

The Final Word.

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