There’s More To This One Than Just The Entry.

It’s not like there was room for them, anyway.

I can hear the voices from around the bend in the road.

Yew did it yew dern cornsucker, an Ah’m a gon make yew pay! The first one sounds like the man leading the angry unwashed mob in the made-for-tv horror film.

No I didn’t. I don’t even know what you’re talking about. The second one sounds like he just this day got the news that his mother died, his house burned down, and his girlfriend dumped him for his boss who she convinced to fire him.

Heheh. Sounds like a confession to me! Gettim boss! The last one sounds like he’s been eating sandpaper.

Oh, Ah intend to. Here comes that ther po-lice stripperman. He’ll prove yew done it!

I stop when they all look quit shouting and look at me. “Is there something on my face, Max?”

Uh, ya nose? Why?

“They’re staring at me.”

Yew got ter arrest dis here oliphant an take him away ter yer jail!

When he doesn’t seem inclined to elaborate, I ask, “Why exactly do I have to do that?”

Cuz he’s a dadgum bastid!

“No law against that, so if you’ll excuse me-”

G’wan boss! Tell em what he DID! Mweheheh, observes the smelly rodent behind the stand.

Oh, right. He done et three o mah apples without not even payin!

I never did. I’m allergic to apples.

Das jes whut he’d say if’n he were guilty!

Heeheeheh, that proves it!

“Look, I don’t have time for this. I’m supposed to be stopping a kidnapping attempt on a garter snake by a gang of gerbils!”

But whut about mah apples?!

Ugh! “How much did three apples cost?”

Uh, seventy five cents, blinks the shrew.

I fling three quarters at him. “Here. Spend it on enough brains to solve your petty annoyances yourself, instead of tryin to drag the police into it.”

The Final Word.


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