Max’s Internal Dialogue.

Ok, calm down. She wuzn’t a real witch, cause dere aint no such thing. She wuz jes some crazy dame hopped up on goofballs.

This means I have to make a new catagory and mugshot.

So whut if ya dreamed dat she wuz kidnappin you? Dat don’t mean nuttin but dat… er, but dat whut?

I been workin too hard? I mean, I do stay up nights, yeah, but so does everyone else in dis city.

I shouldn’ta had dat leftovah bratwurst right before I went to bed?

S’gotta be wun a dose. It can’t be dat she put some kinda curse on me, cause she’d hafta be a real witch ta do dat, and dere aint no such ting! So even if she did I got nuttin to worry about cuz it won’t work cuz she didn’t really cuz she doesn’t exist!

Wait.

I should ask Sly.

No way Jose, he’ll jes tink I’m dumb.

He already duz, Einstien!

Well he’ll tink I’m even dumber!

Yer given yourself a heart attack cuz yer worried dat a witch put a spell on you, an yer biggest concern is yer boss who already thinks yer crazy, is gonna think that’s a stupid thing ta be worried about?

Well, I guess.

Yer an idjit.

Oh fine, Mr. Smarty-conscience! I’ll jes go ask him den! See how you like dat!

Hang on, I didn’t mean-

Sly?

“Yeah?”

Um… If I was bein kidnapped by a witch, would you come save me? Like, wit a little jetpack or…. or something?

“Have you been drinking ?”

No.

“Maybe you should.”

Dat a no?

“Only if you keep bugging me.”

Dere, you happy now?

Jes forget about it! It don’t mean nuttin! Go get sloshed like he said!

Yer a real shitty conscience or whatever.

Shut up, me.

No YOU shut up!

Uh, Sly?

“Sigh. What now?”

If dere’s dis voice in my head yelling at me dat I’m stupid, is dat cuz a witch cursed me?

“You’re probably becoming self aware for the first time in your life.”

Dat supposed to happen?

“Sure, why not.”

Well watta I do bout it?

“Go get sloshed, like I said.”

See, what did I tell you?

Shut up, me.

The Final Word.

Advertisements

About this entry