The Sinister Urge Is A Silly Urge.

Have you ever had one of those things happen, where someone can tell you’re about to say something and so they start denying it before you’ve even opened your mouth?
Yeah, neither have I. Wish I could, though, make my job a cakewalk.

Well, She Does Look Like She Has More In There.

“So, let me go over this all again,” I sigh.

Well, OFFICER, I was JUST sitting on my NEST this afternoon so I DON’T think I know ANYTHING about what you’re talking about! Nope! Nuh uh!

“Ok, why don’t you run that by me again, except stop trying to pretend that you’re bantering cleverly? It’ll all go much faster.”

I SAID, I was sitting on my nest! WHAT do you want me to do, DRAW you a PICTURE?

I could shave with her voice. If, you know, foxes shaved. “Ok, so, you were sitting on this nest all day, and haven’t moved. Right. So, what about the farmer out in the hall who’s saying you ate his corn, then?”

WHY I’d NEVER do such a FILTHY-

“That wasn’t a euphamism.”

Oh. Well HE’S lying! Yes! He’s LYING. I didn’t steal ANY corn! Nope!

“You didn’t eat any corn, then?”

THAT’S what I SAID! No! NO corn!

That about wraps it up, I guess. I start flipping through my notebook. “Right, well. I guess you don’t know that I came here to ask you some questions about the prostitution racket you’re supposed to be running–the one that we had a major raid on this afternoon, from which your car was seen fleeing–not about any corn. The guy out in the hall is your sometime boyfriend, and co-suspect, and the story about you eating corn was supposed to be your alibi, which, by the by, you really ought to agree on beforehand from now on.”

From the look on her face, she’s about to lay another egg.

“So, shall I arrest you now, or do you maybe wanna take another stab at coming up with a story?”

She glares at me, then in a burst of feathers is flapping out the window.

When the air is clear again, I call “You got her, Max?”

Yeah Sly. Almost broke da fishnet, dough.

“Then let’s get her into something more secure.”

Might as well charge her with child abandonment, while we’re at it, seeing as she tried to split and leave the nest.

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