My Virgin Eyes.
But he lazored my flowers!
He so did! He came up and he charged his laser, and-
“I don’t care. First, I’ve heard this song before. Second, he’s got his…” I swallow a shudder, “girlfriend in there, and my job ain’t worth that. Third, he is in the bath. My life ain’t worth that, kid, and neither is yours. Go home.”
But what about mah flowers?!
“It aint worth your flowers lives either. Go watch some cartoons or yell at cowboys or annoy doctors or pirates or whatever it is you kids do. Or just go get some more flowers, they sell them at the hardware store.” I go back to my newspaper. Eventually she’ll leave.
I’m not putting a child through that sort of trauma.
Can I have some money for the hardware store, mister?
I hand her a couple bucks. “If it’ll get you out of my fur.”