You’d Think Hospitals Would Get Upset About Mice Coming In.

I jus don’ get why it’s gotta be AWR problem, Sly! So somebody spotted a jailbreak! So what the crap what?! Max always gets grumpy when something interrupts his lunch break. Aint nuthin to do with us, is it?

“You want answers so bad, maybe you oughta be the detective.”

Dat’s fair, I did a swell job da last couple times…

“Though if you can’t even detect my sarcasm then I don’t like your chances.”

Lucky that he happened to break in to the hospital room where his doppelganger was being treated.

I ignore Max. Which is probably gonna go on my headstone, at this rate. But he aint what I came here to see.

Woah woah waoh, wait Sly! Max chirps when I start to lean in and reach for the bandages. He’s got like lepersy or sumfin an if ya take off da bandage his nose’ll fall off and we’ll all get lepersy an DIE!

“Huh, guess you must know more about medicine than me, Max, cause I didn’t know that you treated leprosy by giving the patient the end of an IV to hold. Who knows what medical breakthroughs are next? Curing malaria by showing people pictures of a gin and tonic?”

If he’s got a comeback I’m not paying attention. Dr. Fox says it’s time for the bandages to come off.

You get those feelings, sometimes, like you just drank a gallon of ice. Mine tend to be caused by Cassie, Max’s stupidity, or some combination of the two. But I got one when I heard about this guy. Didn’t catch the name over the squawkbox, but I caught them say ‘Bluetick Coonhound.’ There aren’t many of those in these parts. In fact, as far as I knew, there was only one.

Went by the name of Big Red, or at least he said he did. He wasn’t big, and he wasn’t red, and nobody but him called him that, except his partner. Partner was just a kid, but smart. The two of em pulled off some impressive jobs, I have to admit, but then Big Red got stupid, got drunk, got himself caught, and that was that. Kid was just damn lucky he was still a minor. I don’t want to think what woulda happened to him, or where he’d be now, if he’d wound up in the real prisons.

But he didn’t. And maybe he’s off somewhere with a real job and a family and a house, and maybe Big Red isn’t interested in messing that up, but it can’t hurt to make sure, right?

The bandages come off, and I look him in the eyes. See him mouth Aw shit under his breath.

But it’s not Big Red.

“Guess you might as well call the guys, Max, tell em we got their friend, and he needs a ride back home.”

So dis is da guy? The one you was lookin for?

I shoot Max a sidelong glance. “And what makes you think I was looking for someone in particular?”

I aint DAT stupid, Sly.

“Ok, fine, I was, but this aint him. Never mind. Can still gloat about picking up after Mutt, though.”

Big Red was a stupid name. Would have been much better for his partner. I still hate that coonhound’s guts.

But if it had been him, I probably would have let him go.

Can’t risk him saying things about his old partner. That’s one fox who doesn’t need his life any more screwed up than it already is.

“Max, did you steal the fruit basket from the patient’s room?”

I missed lunch! Sides, fought he wuz dis con is disguise? Wasn’t dat dah whole plot?

“That basket was for the OTHER patient! The REAL one!”

Case in point.


About this entry