A Revolutionary New Curriculum.

Fox, your class is here.

I frown at him over the top of the newspaper. “Was that supposed to be an insult, Lupo?”

It must be nice to have so few crimes that need to be solved that you can hold a class, it’s not everyone who has the time. Or the fame. Some people spend their time doing their jobs instead of getting their picture taken, can you imagine?

And he’s already out of my office and halfway down the hall. I could catch him and get an explanation, but that would require talking to him, and that’s above all to be avoided.

Besides, I’m a detective. Time to solve the Case of What the Hell the Disgruntled Inspector Whose Deodorant is Inadequate is Talking About.

Answer: They beat him mercilessly until he confessed.

A couple judicious questions lead me to a disused office in the back of the building. When I step in eight head swivel around in unison and stare at me.

Oh crap.

“Ok, you guys know you are inside a police station right now, right? That’s not a good place for a trap.”

They all turn and look at one of them, in the back almost obscured behind an elephant clearly bombed out of his mind on something. Wait, that can’t be HER, can it?

We’re just here to take you class mister! Tee hee.

It is.

“You know you’re all could not be any more under arrest, right?”

Mister officer, for what? We just want you to teach us about policing, that’s why we’re here for your class!

“Not to drug me and drag me to some corrugated steel shed in the back end of nowhere because your nutso cult leader saw my name written in his hourly LSD koolaid?!”

They all blink. Uh, no? offers the ringleader tentatively.

“Do you really expect me to believe that you’re all innocent bystanders who are here to take a class that the teacher has never heard of?!”

Hey dere Sly, see you gawt da class goin.

It is very lucky for Max that the thing about predator species being able to stop rodent’s hearts with a fixed stare isn’t true, and that he’s not from the deep south or he might believe it anyway and pass out. Bet it looked like I was trying.

Sly, you feelin awright?

“Max, I am going to ask you a question, and I’d advise you to make the answer you give extremely good. Did you know that there was supposed to be some kind of… detective class?”

…yes…

“Is that because you set it up?”

…yes…

“Ignoring for the moment the fact that ‘detective class’ is one of the stupidest ideas you’ve ever had, why didn’t you tell me about the thing that you told people I was going to do?!”

…cause I thawt ya’d be mad?

“So, how well would you say the ‘not making Slylock mad by not telling him things’ plan went, then?” I don’t wait for an answer. “Ok then, students, because apparently that’s what you are, welcome to Detective Class. I’m your teacher, Detective Slylock Fox. The first lesson is that class is dismissed, forever. I’m so proud of you all.” I point to the door, “Now get out.”

Max tries to follow them unobserved. “Nuh uh, Mouse. You’re in detention.”

Mistress, what now? We did nothing…

Oh don’t be a worrywart, silly. We can be patient. Tee hee.

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